“What I want to be when I grow up?” I am sure none of us
have escaped from this question. At least those of us who have had the good
fortune of going to school and receiving some sort of a formal education. This is possibly the most popular and oft
repeated essay topic in primary schools of India. I was terrorized by it too.
And like most of you reading this “I want to become a Doctor!” is possibly the
most frightful chestnut, with the Engineers making it to a distant second in
the list! (I am yet to see any child wanting to be a Cricketer or a singer or a
social worker but then I digress!) However much I tried dodging the above
question, I couldn’t. Not when the question carried 10 marks! The tryst with
this question ended rather quickly for those lucky souls who didn’t have the
ignominy of being selected to represent your school in elocution competition
like yours truly was. On these occasions one had to have a loftier ambition as
‘suggested’ by the Class Teacher and I ended up as the Prime Minister on one
occasion and a Nelson Mandela on the other! I also was a Soldier wanting to
“save Mother India” on a few instances. By the time I was about to pass out
from school the teachers after having a good look at me, my essay and my mark
sheets, repeat, repeat once more, ended
up doing what the children now-a-days describe
as “lol” and “RoFL”! To cut the comedy short, I had no clue what I
wanted to be and what I would eventually become. After meandering aimlessly
through the college canteens and ‘cutting-class-to-watch-QSQT’ I suddenly grew
up. A mandatory degree and a perfunctory PG later ended up running around like
a lost ant ‘bechu da’!
Those who know me personally and have been sending those
“Happy Birthday Mate!” messages on Facebook would be quite surprised to be
reading this note. I am sure they would be wondering why should somebody who is
already well into his 2nd innings of his life be thinking what I
want to be when I grow up? I agree. For those who came in late, I am indeed in
that phase of my life where I have graduated from being a Shahid Afridi (See the ball and Maaro!),
moved past being Virendra Sehwag (Method behind the madness) to presently being
in the Rahul Dravid Zone (Outside off, don’t take risk, Leave it!) A stage
where the time I have already lived is likely to be more than the time I have
at my disposal to live. A time when most kids address me as ‘uncle’ rather than
the ‘anna’ that I had always been. A time when a dash of philosophy is
permitted; nay expected of me.
It is not so much about money alone any more. I mean, of
course I need money. Truckloads of it! I still have a long way to secure the
future of two Indian citizens I have been blessed with. However I now have a
craving for something more than these alone. The above are a chore, a
responsibility, must be carried out and will be carried out. What I am now
looking forward to is stop being an automaton and for a change live the life
too! Today is as good a day to possibly share with you as to what I would like
to do with this one life of mine. Believe me it didn’t take me any effort to
jot down this list. If I have to think as to what to do and it is not top of my
mind then I am most likely to be cheating myself and you. So here goes……..
I promise to myself this day that I will sing. As much as I
can. Whenever I can. Whatever #SongPlayingOnMyMind. Whether anyone likes it or
not! I will sing. For life. For me!
I promise I will not die till I master reading and writing
my mother tongue Tamizh/Tamil. And I refuse to die till I have read every
nugget written by Mahakavi Subramania Bharathi and devour Kalki’s
epic Ponniyin Selvan.
I promise to keep
myself fit and healthy. As a regular blood donor I owe this to myself and to
some needy soul somewhere that I am always in a position to do so till I live.
And once the umpire up there raises his dreaded finger on me to signal I am
out, I want to my mortal remains to be put to use for the benefit of my fellow
travelers I leave behind. Hope my heart will beat in somebody’s bosom and my
eyes will continue to see this beautiful world.
 |
| They will continue to see the beautiful world...... |
May be it was planned. Maybe it was just a coincidence. May be
it is my destiny. Whatever it may be. For whatever time I have left with me on
this earth, I promise to live up to the name given to me by parents! Anand! I promise to be happy.
I promise to spread happiness!
 |
| Anand! |
I don’t think I can write the Post Script to this note. One
of you would possibly have to do it. Only I am sure you will call it an
Obituary whenever it is written, if at all!
Glossary
Bechu Da : Kolkata slang for Salesmen
Maaro : Hit!
Anna : Brother
Anand : Happy/Happiness
ReplyDeleteI remember my ambition to become a rail engine driver.
That apart, interesting and noble declarations you have made.
I love that blood donation oath.
Being a happy being is not an easy task.
Yet, one must strive
constantly to secure that bliss.
One wish of yours is certainly important.
That is regarding health.
A good health will make certain,
every good ambition.
Well written and I enjoyed it.
Oh I can relate to this. Am going thru a mild mid life crisis and this post makes so much sense... I pray you get to do all that you want! It is so awesome to have pledged your eyes :)
ReplyDeleteI am so relieved that this is not a blogging contest entry :) I am so afraid to read through such posts and then realize that it was written for winning some contest. This has happened so many times.
ReplyDeleteApart from that I liked your resolutions/promises. If we don't learn to live for ourselves, making ourselves happy, there is no way you can make our children's life happy. Happy people impart happy emotions to people. In this age of short term happiness funda, a good emotional quotient is the best that we can provide to them. Rest of the life - they will figure it out :)