No Whistle To Put Da :(

The carnival starts once again. That time again when "Indiaaaaaa India!" chants will be replaced by "AaarrrrCeeeeeBeeee" and "Aami Kolkata" and its ilk. That time again when Virat Kohli will stop belonging to us, instead will belong to Bangalore. When a section of the Indians will root for Glenkeerat Singh Maxwell to take Ashwin to the cleaners. Move over Nation vs Nation, it is my city bestest time now! It is time now for IPL!

While the country and the cricket fans across the globe ready up the war paint to support their favorite teams, there is one set of people who are lost. Even before the tournament starts. Not for them is "Ek India Happywala!" Far from it! They are the supporters of one of the most keenly followed teams, CSK. Probably the most vociferous and high decibel set of fans that any IPL team possesses. (Sorry Rajasthan but neither the numbers nor the volume levels of your fans stand a fig of a chance vs those of CSK. Hoot! Hoot!)

For those who came in late, CSK and RR have been banned as per strictures from the Supreme Court Of India for a period of two seasons for indulging in social service activities like betting and spot fixing. Post many a hearing and appeals, the ban stands. If the Rajasthan Royals fans are disappointed, they didn't showcase it much beyond the cursory tweets and Facebook posts. From what I can gather, they seem to have moved on. The CSK fan? Well that needs a paragraph or two. Read on!

No Whistlepodu! No Halla Bol!

Media reports first emerged about a fairly high decibel signature campaign asking the courts to pardon the club "for us fans"! Then a few thousands assembled up at various locations and stadias to accuse BCCI and other "Naarth Indians" of victimizing us knowledgeable folks residing in the south of Vindhyas (Bangalore and Hyderabad are in California. Welcome!) The last and presently ongoing campaign especially on Social Media is #NoCSKNoIPL which is likely to run its course during the course of the forthcoming IPL season and may make its sporadic appearance till and in the next.

Chennai Super Kingskku Signature podu!

There are essentially two types of CSK fans. The first who supported the team in the first place because their favourite cricketer was sporting its colours. Nothing else explains why a Jharkhandi or a Bhaiyya from UP, separated by miles of Indian territory should be supporting the "Madrasis". Such fans of Captain Cool or Sweet Sonu have moved on to support the new franchisees for which the said players have signed up. The other and more passionate set of fans whose umbilical cord is tied to Chennai first and the players next, whose other pastimes include #StopHindiImposition and #BloodyAmits are the ones in a serious dilemma as to what do they do next. It is for these fans my heart bleeds. Bleeds yellow. And it is for these fans I have a few suggestions. First is these fans should boycott the next two IPL seasons. It is an old strategy but still effective. It worked for Mahatma Gandhi, it worked for #BoycottDilwale and #NoDealOnSnapdeal, it can well work for them too. There is however one hitch. Unlike "Indhi filims" Cricket is an all encompassing religion and boycotting it is well neigh impossible.

Bleed purple, fuschia, blue and a little yellow. Sigh!

The other is to attend every match at the stadium, carry huge banners saying #NoCSKNoIPL and #BleddyBCCI and hope you catch the cameras. Effective it may or may not be, expensive it surely will be!

Sweet Sonu is still a Lion!

As a great fan of this brand of masala cricket and as someone who is married to Chennai I propose a way out of this quagmire. (Seri Seri! Coimbatore is not Chennai but #TodayWeAreAllChennaiites suffices!)
Turn the handicap into an asset. Watch every match and without any qualms or pressure. Enjoy the cricket. And troll the fans of every other club! They can't troll you back. Enjoy the ride. Detoxify over the next two seasons and come back strongly to #Whistlepodu in IPL 2018! Hopefully with namma Chennai paiyyan Ashwin as the Thala of the team!

Pudhiya "Thala"imurai???

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PS: 

Boycott! Boycott! Strategy explained here in details!

If you feel like #Whistlepodu, click here too!

Glossary:

Aami Kolkata - I am Kolkata

Namma Chennai Paiyyan - Our Chennai lad

Pudhiya Thalaimurai - Next Generation. Thala- Nickname given to CSK Captain 

 

My Friend - Rahul Dravid

“Anand………Bangalore……..St.Joseph’s, two years senior to Rahul!”

If you were a resident of Bangalore and a Josephite , it is mandatory that your introduction would not be complete without reference to the batch you studied in, relative to Rahul Dravid. Suffices to say that Rahul’s tenure at St.Joseph’s College was a benchmark almost at par with BC/AD in the Christian history  for the alumnus of this great institution. And two year seniority in the college was good enough to command a “Sir” from the freshers including the man who went on to Captain the Indian Cricket team and shrugged/smiled every time someone mentioned the mundane and lifeless nickname, The Wall. Of course we were on to first name basis once the ragging period cooled off!

I would be lying if I said the entire college wasn’t sure that RD would play for India and with distinction no less. We were confident; nay convinced that the heir to the great Gundappa Vishwanath was amidst us. Also secretly happy that finally we had an endangered species from Karnataka in the Indian team because post GRV and Brijesh Patel, the marquee players from the State were all bowlers who could at best throw their bats around in hope. Names like Jumbo Kumble, Venky Prasad, Babu Srinath, Dodda Ganesh, Sunil Joshi, Roger Binny et el were all people who lived by trying to make the ball talk. Happy that finally the bat would speak for the city!

If you are expecting that I would be dwelling on RD the player, then I would have to disappoint you. What more can I write about the Legend that has not been  already written, by wordsmiths who either make a living doing it or are much, much more well versed with their ability to dissect the gentleman’s game. What you can expect though are a few nuggets about someone whom you call The Wall, Rahul, Dravid, RDX(?),Jammy and I call a friend. And one, from whom I am proud to say I have learnt so much. I am not at all ashamed to admit so even though I am ‘two years senior to Rahul’, remember?

One of my meetings was when Jam had just quit the Captaincy of the Indian Cricket team. While nursing a drink in the Oberoi lounge, I could feel Jam, for the first time show signs of fatigue. And as close friends generally would know this was serious. What the best bowlers in World cricket, toughest of conditions, crisis prone Indian batting line up, pressures of reinventing his game to suit the slam-bang version, misguided barbs of illiterate fans who questioned his strike rate in test matches, the constant glare of 24/7 media couldn’t do to him, this one incident had managed to, pierce that legendary composure. As I was about to enquire into what was happening , a disgusted Jams stopped me from even broaching the subject. “Andy, please not today and anything but THIS today!” he pleaded. If one could be happy and sad at the same time, this was the moment. Sad, to see my dear friend going through the turmoil and happy that he chose me to spend a quiet evening with on such a day. I respected his request and we spent the next couple of hours talking about everything that the youth of Bangalore do except Cricket. Two things about my friend were reinforced that day. There was something seriously murky going on in the circles that run Cricket in India, that it became impossible for Jam to carry on with something he valued so much, the Indian Captaincy. And he will not be a party to something that his conscience didn’t permit. The other was, unless somebody from the then dressing room or from the management, fell out and squealed for either getting back at the powers that be or for 30 pieces of Silver, we will never know what went on during that phase. Jam will not open his mouth to spew filth. He is too dignified to even contemplate such an action.

The recent meeting was after he had excused himself from the assignment to do commentary on TV to prepare for IPL. This was the usual cheerful Jammy who showed up that day, this time at Taj Westend. “You know Andy, sitting in a airconditioned cubicle and spouting wisdom is a walk in the park in comparison to the sweat and tears one sheds on the field!” he joked. Not surprisingly he gave me small lecture on the art of doing running commentary during cricket matches. “The most important thing is you must listen well, before answering”, “Never rush into an opinion unless well thought out, there is more time available than one thinks there is”, “it is not how much you speak but what you speak that is important” he went on. The same old dear dear meticulous Jammy! He must, absolutely must excel in whatever he took up.

Now with the CLT20 already underway, guess I would have to be satisfied with seeing him in the Royals’ jersey from the stands.  And I fear maybe for the last time! But I am willing to bet he will finish the tournament with his already sky high reputation further enhanced.  Jammy! Never said this before mate, but thought I should let you know. Thanks Mate for accepting this mere mortal as your friend.

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PS: I wish whatever I wrote above were true and Rahul Dravid had indeed been my friend! I, needless to add, believe in every word I have typed in about him except the ‘My friend’ part! God! What I would not give for this to be real and not just a figment of my fertile imagination, not a piece of fiction which it is!