Let us start with busting a few myths.
Firstly, being lean and lanky is not equivalent to being fit. You don’t believe
me? Try sprinting approximately 32 meters to board the last fast local to Virar
or a similar distance to jump onto the footboard of that
Gandhipuram-Singanallur town bus. You made it? Good! Now do you feel you are
about to collapse of a heart attack? Great, first myth busted. Secondly,dear
roly-poly, rotund, gol-matol, couch potatoes, “ I go for a walk everyday and eat only two chappaties” is neither an adequate exercise nor appropriate weight reduction
formula. Thirdly, when you gen-nexters look up from your laptop, mobile,
television screens and gaze into the crystal ball and you do not see
yourself in either of the above described scenario you think? BUSTED!
Here is some sane and free advice. Take the
plunge now by choice or be condemned to being forced to later by a prescription
and a medical bill running into……………..!Or you can also wait for the day when
you see your toes only on a mirror because that ombodhu masam blocks your view! Once I munched through all the above,
I decided to dive headlong into it. The added incentive was to prove the myth “Life starts at forty” right!
The preliminary to joining the gym was right
up my alley. Shopping for the right shoes,
track pants, tees, sipper, gym bag etc was a breeze. The presence of an up market
gym in the locality was a help too. Out came the credit card and the gym fees
for the next two years paid in a jiffy, in advance. The night before, all the
paraphernalia was neatly laid out on the sofa ( being a considerate type, I
didn’t want to wake up the entire household that early in the morning), alarm
was set to discreet mode on the mobile which in turn was placed strategically
below the pillow (Please re-read the sentence written within the brackets
above, welcome!) And self was before the instructor before either the locality
dogs or the nearest TASMAC outlet had woken up.
Adrenalin runs high when intention meets
enthusiasm. Every instruction of the instructor was followed like an eager beaver;
every exercise was indulged in, a few rounds more than what the instructor
wanted you to. A wry smile, a sly giggle was directed at ‘uncles’ in the
adjacent treadmill or dumbles rack as they huffed and puffed. Every sinew of
the body was thoroughly rinsed before I said bye to the instructor. The rest of
the day at work and otherwise was spent in trying to somehow build in words
like exercise, fitness, health consciousness, gymnasium into every conversation
and hopefully get an opportunity to spout gyaan on the same. The preliminary preparation for day two followed the
same as day one and hence I decide not to repeat the same.
On day two the alarm rang, snooze button pressed,
repeat, repeat, repeat………..as the body refused simple commands like opening the
eyes or getting up from the bed. By now the discrete alarm had woken up the
entire household. Amidst the commotion as the eyes finally opened and the torso
moved northwards, the legs decided to go on a flash strike. Further pushing,
pulling, jostling later (ably supported by the uproarious laughter of the Mrs
and appan suppan kind of comments from the kiddos) I managed to reach the gym. There
is a premium that I pay for sound education, a respect that is reserved for
none or nothing else. The Class III lesson “Perseverance Pays” flashed on my
mind as I gingerly mounted the ‘air-walk’. To cut the story short, the Class
III lesson won the day and the next and the next…………..
As the days went on, I worked out a formula
which helped me to grow beyond the Class III lesson as the only source of
motivation. Creaking bones and aching muscles need much more than just the
above dictum. The first was to find ‘partners’ with whom you work out. While
this may sound rather innocuous, it actually calls for much more thought. I
selected a slightly middle aged ‘uncle’ who had been pumping iron for a few months
now and a fifteen year old bubbloo who seemed to be a waking-walking advertisement for potato chips.
The uncle gave me the enthusiasm to compete with him and the bubbloo gave me the laughs. Secondly I selected a time-band when there were
no members of the fairer sex around. The
Gym history is littered with innumerable cases of wannabe Casanovas who pulled
iron only to pull out once the neighbourhood nymph broke out into peals of
laughter. Among the other strategies
employed was to sing praises of the instructor to other mates in the gym,
especially when he was in the hearing zone. Recommending the ‘great’ gym to
fellow workers and dragging them to the place irrespective of the fact they
joined it or not also made him ‘go slow’ on you. The clincher was getting the instructor to
play a list of your favourite songs during the work out starting with “Gymmy,
gymmy, gymmy! Aaaja aaja aaja’!
It
has been a month or so since I have graduated from “aah, the pain” to the “aaha
the pain”!
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PS: Always inform the instructor your
reason for joining the work out lest you might end up losing weight when your
wish was just the opposite or end up looking like the last thing you wanted, an
over grown bollywood like orangutan!
Glossary:
Gol-Matol : Roly poly
Chappati : Indian Bread
Ombodhu Masam : Literal - Nine Months, Simile - Tummy like that of a pregnant women.
Gyaan - Knowledge, lecture.
Babbloo : Roly poly kid.
Appan Suppan : Daddy is a weakling!
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